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  • Writer's pictureSarah Mascarello

The question to really ask

If you think back to your childhood or if you are a parent now, surely you will recall the number one question asked by children… WHY? Why can’t I have that? Why does that work like that? Why can’t I eat that? Why do I have to go to bed now? Why, why, why…

I always thought it was fascinating that my answer could single handedly educate my children and right then and there, in front of my eyes, they were forming their views and beliefs about how life works. It was a lot of pressure in a sense to get it right, word it right and explain things fully but I enjoyed the challenge and loved the quirky conversations that would often be sparked.

As children that are learning so many things for the first time, “Why” is an appropriate question. As creatures of habit, it’s not surprising that as we grow, we continue to question things that happen with “Why?” However, there comes a time in our lives when the question of WHY needs to shift to WHAT. This has been a game changer in my life.

Instead of: “Why did that person get _____ and not me?” I celebrate their blessing and ask,

“God, what are your plans for me?”

“What can I do to better prepare for the blessings you have in store?”

Instead of: “Why is this happening to me?” I ask,

“God, what are you trying to teach me in this experience?”

Instead of: “Why do bad things keep happening in the world (or personally)?” I ask,

“God, where are you in this?”

“What does your word say about this?”

“What will you have me do to show the love of Jesus Christ in this moment?”

Instead of: “Why do I keep (insert sinful behavior)?” I ask,

“What happened in my life to create this behavior?”

“What does your word say about how you feel about this sin?”

Instead of: “Why do people say or do hurtful or offensive things?” I ask

“What lies am I believing about myself that leave me feeling offended or hurt that need to be replaced with your truth?”

We may have unresolved issues stemming from our childhoods or times of trauma/pain that when left undealt with, will rear its ugly head at random times, triggering a “Why” question in us. Asking these hard “What” questions may not always be easy. It will require time carved out to spend with God in prayer and time spent in his word. We may even have to revisit an unpleasant time/event of our past to figure out what beliefs or lies from the enemy were formed in us. (Rejection, unworthiness, fear of abandonment, perfectionism, etc.)

But may I say, the freedom that comes with finally giving your issues, hurt and pain to God and allowing him to restore you with the “new personality” is worth every single second spent sorting through the mess with him. And remember, when we sort through the mess WITH him, not on our own - it’s not as scary and traumatic because he is wrapping us up with his truth and love the whole way through.

By simply asking the right question and making yourself available for the truth God will give you, the flood of mercy and clarity that will wash over you will astound your mind! Over the years, in my life when I feel the unwanted prickle of pain, it is really just the discomfort of growth. But every single time, if I just pay attention, I see God moving and blessing me in the most unique ways with comfort and peace.

I suppose the choice each of us has now, is to continue spinning our wheels with the self seeking question of “why” or dare to ask God the questions that will produce growth, mercy, grace and love. I pray that God gives you the courage to grow. I pray that God clothes you in the new personality of Christ and restores your soul. He loves you so much. Trust him and be amazed!

Ephesians 4:24 ~ Colossians 3:10 ~ Psalm 57:2

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